


Out There In The Drowning Deep

by mandatorily



Category: CW Network RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Selkies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-28
Updated: 2012-03-28
Packaged: 2017-11-02 15:22:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandatorily/pseuds/mandatorily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are legends that certain seals can shed their skin and walk among humans.  For Jared, it's not easy being legendary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out There In The Drowning Deep

**Author's Note:**

> Written for http://au-bingo.livejournal.com/ & the square Selkie. Beta'd by the lovely Cady, who frequently saves me from chucking it all in and throwing my hands up to quit. Obviously any leftover mistakes are all my own and stem from the fact that I wrote this in about two days. Title is from Vienna Teng's song, Harbor.

The seal slides from the ocean, water rippling from his pelt, dirt and rocks digging into his belly. He’s not sure why he even bothers to leave the ocean. The transition from seal to human is a painful process, bones breaking, skin melting to reform legs and arms and organs he was never meant to have. Perhaps he does it to prove a point to himself. Maybe it’s just for the feeling of otherness, of not belonging. Whatever it is, he’s become addicted to it, unable to resist the pull of the land, even if the monsters he meets here are far more fearsome than those at the deepest depths of the ocean.

When the last of the pains have subsided and he can sit up in his newly formed body, he folds his pelt carefully, uses his hands to dig a hole under the largest pile of rocks on the shore. He’s careful with his pelt, now, in ways he’d never been before. Lessons like those, once learned, are never forgotten.

Once it’s buried and he’s sure there are no traces of its presence showing, he stands, stretching his ridiculously long limbs over his head, hearing bones creak, sinews lengthening. When he was still a pup, he’d asked his mother what determined the kind of body you were given in human form. She’d said it had to do with the heart of the seal. The bigger, more capable your heart was of falling in love, the more space it took for a human body to house your magic. He still thought that was a lot of bullshit meant to keep him from feeling like a gigantic freak, but he appreciated the sentiment behind it.

He shakes himself. It’s a reflex he’s never managed to subdue in human form and he’s sure it makes him look like a wet dog, but he can’t stop it. There’s only so much you can do to fight nature. Glancing around to make sure he’s still alone on shore, he starts walking, tripping a bit over his own feet until he gets his land legs under him. It’s about a quarter of a mile to his family’s cave and the light is fading fast, but he’s been to the cave so many times in his life, he could probably find it blindfolded.

Out of the water now, with the ocean behind him, the melancholy feelings have subsided, the horrid memories of _that other time_ tamped down by his new anticipation. Excitement courses through his veins, making his heart beat painfully in his chest. It’s such a foolhardy thing he’s doing, these meetings, this _tryst_ but he can’t help himself. The rewards are worth the risk.

The sun’s fallen just past the horizon when he reaches the mouth of the cave. One more long, thorough look around to make sure no one sees what he’s doing and he’s through the entrance and running. Down long corridors and dark passages, feet flying on stones that have felt the press of generations of his family. Finally in the main chamber, he leans against the wall, struggling to gain his breath. He fumbles blindly until he finds the stack of matches, lights one against the wall of the cave and uses its meager light to find a torch. Before the flame’s winked out, he touches it to kindling, coaxing fire from the brittle straw.

He sticks the torch in one of the many notches that line the walls of the cave and starts sorting through his boxes, looking for just the right thing to wear. He’s sure the clothes are years out of human fashion, some are threadbare and worn, but it’s tough to find clothing his size, especially when you have to steal it. He feels bad about all the thieving he’s done in his day, but has to admit to himself that his circumstances are unique.

He finally settles on a worn pair of jeans and a t-shirt. The shirt’s one he snagged at the Goodwill, emblazoned with the crest of some university in Texas. Over this he slips a button-up shirt, leaving it unbuttoned to hang as it will. He tugs on socks and shoes, runs a hand through his still-wet hair, trying to tame the unruly mess, but failing miserably, smoothes his shirt over his stomach and exhales.

His transformation complete, he blows out the torch and jogs out of the cave, back through the winding tunnels and back onto the beach.

The night’s turned positively breathtaking. Stars as far as he can see, warm breeze blowing gently against his skin. It’s a perfect night to be a human. He also hopes it might be the perfect night to tell a human -- _his_ human -- that he most definitely isn’t.

He jogs down the beach for a couple of miles, amazed at how athletic this human body is. How little effort it takes for him to do anything. He’s seen many humans struggling with their bodies and thanks whatever magic it is that animates him for his good fortune.

He hears laughter long before he sees the crowds of people milling about on shore. It’s a nightly thing on this stretch of beach during the summer, a sort of beach block party and the place he’d met his human six months ago. Six months that seemed like forever, at least to him. He wasn’t always sure of his human’s feelings. Once he might have been, but now he doubted himself and doubted humans even more.

Closing his eyes, he lets the noise seep into his brain. It’s one of the things that’s so different about humans, all the sounds they make. The ocean is a quiet place, and even on shore where seals bark, it’s never quite the same as this and he loves it. Loves the feeling of excitement and possibility. He checks his pocket, makes sure he has a bit of money and heads for the bar. A beer will loosen him up some, make it easier to do what he’s planned.

He’s halfway there when he hears his name, or rather, the human name he’s chosen for himself. Humans would never be able to pronounce his true name. “Jared! Jay! Over here!”

And it’s _him_. His human. Waiting under a cabana, a beer in each hand. Jared can feel the smile stretching his face and somehow that feeling travels his entire body, settling low in his stomach. He jogs over, reaching for a beer, but his human -- Jensen -- Jensen pulls away at the last minute, using his arms to steer Jared into a hug. He feels Jensen’s lips on his neck and that thing pulling low in his belly flips over lazily, like a seal warming itself in the sun.

“Hey, man, I wondered if you’d make it tonight!”

“Sorry. I was running late. Got caught up at wo--” And he stops himself before saying work. He’s decided to tell Jensen the truth and the thought of lying to him again, even about something so small, leaves a bitter taste in Jared’s mouth. “I got caught up. Sorry I made you wait.”

Jensen smiles and it’s the full-out one that causes the little crinkles next to his eyes to stand out in stark relief. “No problem, man. Not at all. Definitely worth the wait.” 

And, once again, his belly flops a little, because how can he possibly be thinking of telling this beautiful man that he’s a freak? Something must show on his face, because Jensen’s changes sharply. “Is everything alright, Jay? You look sick. Or confused. Something. You want to talk about it?”

Figuring this is as good a time as any, he cocks his head to the side, says, “You feel like taking a pretty long walk? I have some things I want to tell you.”

Jensen’s brow furrows, but he agrees and turns around to say goodbye to the people he’d been chatting with. Almost too soon for Jared they’re alone, walking along the stretch of deserted beach, his home pulling at him from one side and his heart from the other. He feels caught, like he’s trapped and his fight-or-flight response rears up inside him. Flashes of the last time he’d talked to someone about his freakishness fight for dominance in his brain. Memories of being taken, denied his pelt, used--

No. He can’t let himself dwell on the past and ruin his future. 

Jensen’s quiet beside him, kicking sand up with his bare feet as he walks and sipping a bit at his beer, clearly waiting for whatever revelation Jared’s about to throw at him.

Jared’s transfixed for a moment by the sight of Jensen’s lips on the mouth of the beer bottle, but he clears his throat and plunges ahead. “Do you believe in the supernatural, Jensen?”

Jensen laughs, like he thinks Jared’s joking, but the minute he sees that it’s a serious question, his brow furrows and Jared can almost see the gears shifting as he figures out what to say. “You mean like God, angels, the devil? All that stuff? Or ghosts and ghoulies and the boogeyman?”

Divinity and monsters. Not a lot to choose from there. “Things like all of those, I suppose. Unexplained things. Creatures.”

“Oh, like werewolves and vampires.”

Jared nods, though not enthusiastically. Why do all the creatures have to be monsters in the stories that humans are so fond of? “Like that, yeah. But what if there were other sorts of creatures. Animals who could turn into people?”

“I don’t know. Wouldn’t that be weird? Animals crawling out of the trees and the jungle and just turning into humans and walking around? It would freak people right the fuck out; I know that.”

He’s toying with his beer bottle so Jensen doesn’t see the affect his words have on Jared. The word freak, especially painful because that’s what the others called him. 

Jared shakes himself, that old, familiar reflex and all he can think of is getting back to the cave, getting out of these clothes and back into the ocean. He can barely breathe around the lump that’s formed in his throat, but somehow manages to say, “Yeah, you’re right. Bunch of freaks roaming around. That would be awful.” He sucks in a sharp breath through his nose and lays a hand on Jensen’s arm. “Look. I just remembered I have something to do for work. I’ve got to get home. I’ll see you later.” And before Jensen can say anything, Jared’s human feet are flying down the beach, kicking up sand, carrying him toward the safety of home.

It takes him half the time to get back to the cave that it did to leave it. The night’s no longer thrilling to him, he no longer marvels at the way his human body moves. He just wants it to be over. Back through the entrance and down the corridors, he runs full out, feeling like his imposter lungs are going to burst. He makes it to the chamber just as he’s getting a pain in his side and slumps against the wall.

He still can’t catch his breath, is leaning so hard against the wall, the rocks should come crashing down at any moment. He longs for when they do. Tears are streaming down his face and he bats at them in disgust. It’s just another, stupid thing this human body does and he hates it.

“So, you’ve found it, have you? A human you think you can live with forever?” The voice startles him for a moment and he’s almost ready to bolt when he realizes it’s his mother, standing there, her most judgmental look all over her face. It just makes everything worse and he slides down the wall, landing in a heap on the floor. “I thought I had. But, he. He didn’t want me.”

“Oh, my boy. Seals aren’t meant to love the land and humans aren’t meant to love the sea.”

“Then why do you let us go? Why? What’s the point of turning, of changing and seeing what being human is all about?”

“It’s a right of passage, my pup. All Selkie’s have a right to explore their other half, but selkling, it was a curse that gave us these powers. It was never meant to do us good. I thought you’d seen that before.”

“I had. I should have. I thought he was different.”

Laying a hand on his shoulder, she says, “Just come home. The herd will help you heal.” She kisses the top of his head, ruffling his long, human hair, then lays his pelt in his lap and walks out of the cave, leaving him to his thoughts.

He loses track of time, rehashing the moments of his relationship with Jensen. That first meeting, when he’d been all awkward and scared, bruised and broken from his last interaction with humans. Jensen had been so calm, so centering and Jared had felt safe with him almost instantly. The next week when they’d gone to that old amusement park and stuffed themselves full of bad food and cheesy rides. That night Jensen had kissed him, his toes curling up in his borrowed shoes and all had been right in the world. Things had always been so easy between them right from that first moment, like they’d known each other forever. It should have been just as easy to open up to Jensen about his secrets. And it would have been, if he were human.

Sighing, he stands, strips off his clothes and puts them away, knowing it’s for the last time. He won’t come back to the land, not again. He’ll go do his duty by the seals in his herd and never again think of the sun on smooth, tan skin, or the way green eyes could be even more beautiful than the ocean.

\----------

Jensen stands there for a minute, dumbfounded, watching Jared’s long legs sprinting down the beach. It’s like he missed an entire block of conversation and he counts back over the beers he’s had tonight, wondering if maybe he was too drunk to keep up. But, no, he’s barely had two and didn’t even finish the first one before Danneel stole it from him, so, whatever happened just now can’t be blamed on booze.

But, what _did_ happen, he wonders. One minute they were talking about some off-the-wall thing like they always did -- he’d never forget the time they’d gotten drunk and sprawled on the beach trying to figure out why the sky was blue instead of purple -- and the next Jared was cold and dismissive. And running away.

In fact, he’s almost out of sight and that’s when Jensen decides a little stalking might be in order. Yeah, it’s creepy as hell to follow your boyfriend when he doesn’t know it, but right then, Jensen can’t be assed to care. He tosses his beer bottle in one of the trash cans that lines the beach and takes off at a hard run, because those impossibly long legs of Jared’s are eating up the beach like there’s no fucking tomorrow. He’s running like the hounds of Hell are on his ass and Jensen struggles to keep up.

His legs are fucking wobbling by the time Jared slows down, near one of the biggest caves Jensen’s ever seen. He’s never been this far down on the beach, doesn’t even know anyone who has and if the moon wasn’t unbelievably full, he’d be hard-pressed to see anything because this place is beyond deserted. It’s like the entrance to another world, especially with all the jagged rocks sticking up everywhere. He’s cursing the fact that he didn’t bring his shoes when Jared darts inside the cave.

Jensen’s just about to follow him, but stops dead in his tracks at the sight of a naked man walking along the beach. This isn’t entirely unexpected, as parts of the beach are nude-friendly, but it’s startling because this guy reminds him so much of Jared. Tall, same unruly hair and something about the way he moves is familiar. Okay, Jensen thinks, this is just getting too fucking bizarre.

He darts behind some rocks, crouches down and waits, unsure what the hell’s going to happen next. He’s just about to give up and head home, chalk it up to the possibility that someone had spiked his drinks when he wasn’t looking -- not unheard of for Misha -- when a woman emerges from the cave and joins the man. And just when this night couldn’t _get_ any stranger, she shucks her clothes, they both fumble with these large cloak-like objects, draping them around their bodies and then. Things happen.

They shift and shimmer and he can hear sounds like bones breaking and wet, sucking noises and . . . what the ever loving fuckery is this, he thinks, right before he falls on his ass.

Because in the place of the two humans who’d been standing on the beach only moments before are large amorphous blobs that look like. Seals?

Okay, he’s seriously going to have to take Misha’s passport away from him, because obviously, he’s gotten his hands on some experimental Russian drug that makes you see people changing into animals. Wait. That’s what Jared was talking about earlier, when he’d gotten all weird and run off and he’s seriously not thinking what he thinks he’s thinking. Is he?

Right before Jensen pukes from the sheer amount of adrenaline coursing through his body, Jared’s there, on the beach, naked. And he doesn’t even have time to fully appreciate how fucking awesome Jared looks with no clothes on before Jared’s also shifting and turning and _changing_.

He tries to speak, tries to yell for Jared, even tries crawling but can’t seem to make any of his muscles work and can only watch, silently gasping for air as Jared. Or. The _seal_ that used to be _Jared_ slides into the ocean and disappears under the waves.

That’s when he blacks out a little.

He’s not sure how long he’s out before the ringing of his phone wakes him up. Other than the insistent noise of his ringtone, which happens to be a polka at the moment -- another thing Misha does to fuck with him -- the beach is quiet, nothing but the ocean waves and no sign of Jared. He sighs and answers the phone without looking at the screen. “What?!”

“Where the fuck are you, man? You somewhere blowing Jared? Can I watch?”

“Shut up, Misha. And come get me.”

“I don’t know where you arrrrre. I just _said_ that!”

“You know that last trash can on the beach, down by where you made out with Richard that time?”

“Duh.”

“Go there and keep walking until your feet fall off and I’ll be the one laying on the beach looking dead.”

“Okay, this even sounds weird to me. See you in a bit.”

“I’ll be right here,” Jensen says and the phone falls out of his hand. He wiggles his toes, just to make sure the shock hasn’t paralyzed him and then he tries to think back over what’s actually happened in the last few hours.

Jared -- _his_ Jared -- is a seal. Oh, God, even saying it in his head makes him feel like a crazy person. But, he’d seen it. Seen it with his own eyes and okay, he probably needed to wear his glasses more often, but he doesn’t even think _he’s_ blind enough to see something that didn’t actually happen. But how is this possible?

Though, now that he thinks about it, it would explain a lot. Why Jared’s never invited him over to his place. Or mentioned his family in more than a passing way. Jensen knows he has a brother. Could that have been the guy on the beach? And if so, who was the woman? She was older, could it have been their Mother? Oh, there’s some mind-fuckery for you, Jensen, he thinks. You saw your boyfriend’s mother naked before you saw him. Think on that for a while and--

No, he couldn’t keep avoiding the subject. He had to think this through. Jared had tried to tell him something very important tonight and Jensen had blown it off like a joke. How hard could it have been for Jared to work up the courage to come clean about something like this only to have it thrown back in his face? No wonder he’d run off. Jensen had said horrible things about what it would be like if things like this were possible.

He’s banging his head into the sand repeatedly when his roommate’s head appears over him. “I don’t think that’s healthy, Jen.”

“I don’t care. I’ve ruined everything with the most amazing fucking guy I’ve ever met. I’m going to lay here and wallow in it for the rest of my life.”

Misha giggles and starts trying to haul Jensen to his feet. Misha’s clearly had way too much to drink and in the end Jensen’s the one actually helping Misha walk back in the direction of their car.

Jensen can’t help one last, long look at the vast ocean, before he leaves. Wondering where Jared is. And if he’ll ever see him again.

\----------

The next several weeks are pure, unbridled hell for Jensen. He works his ass off at his job during the day, comes home exhausted and heads to the beach. Where he stays. Every night, for hours. He sets up a camp of sorts and looks out at the ocean, missing Jared like a part of his body’s gone. He replays every date they went on, every time they were together, everything. Looking for signs, wishing he’d handled things differently. It’s become a sort of obsession and he hates himself a thousand times more for only realizing he’s in love with Jared after he fucked everything up.

Because he does. Love Jared, that is. He figured it out that night after the disaster on the beach. He’d probably been building up to it for weeks, had probably already fallen and just been too stupid to realize it. And now there’s not a goddamned thing he can do about it.

It’s on a Wednesday in late August when his friends stage an intervention.

Danneel sits down next to him, takes his hand in hers and props her head on his shoulder. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself, Jen. We’re worried about you.”

He feels Misha sit down on his other side and it’s like a trap closing around his heart, because he knows it’s over. There’s nothing else he can do. No way to contact Jared, no way to go back in time and take back all the stupid, awful things he said. It’s done.

He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until the tears start falling onto their joined hands and then he’s tackled between his two best friends, surrounded by their love and support. He just wishes it was enough to make this ache in his heart go away. But, he’s pretty damn sure that scar’s going to be there forever. In the shape of a too-tall boy with an amazing secret.

“Okay,” he finally says. “Yeah, you’re right. This has to end.”

He gets up, brushes sand off his clothes and walks toward the ocean, turning back at the edge to wave his friends away. “Just give me a few minutes, okay? I need. I need to say goodbye.”

The waves are colder than he’d expected, as he splashes into the shallow water where it meets the sand. It makes him shiver, makes him even lonelier to think of Jared, off somewhere unreachable. He shakes his head, the last of his tears spilling into the ocean, and tries to let go.

\----------

Jared’s swimming in mindless circles when he feels a tug on his heart. It’s an odd feeling. Not unpleasant, exactly, but unnerving. He thinks it’s probably the rest of his human self dying of depression. He wishes he cared less.

He’s done little but swim with no destination in mind since leaving Jensen for good. His mother’s pointed him in the direction of females he should be mating with, but just the idea makes him want to throw up. She’s getting insistent, though, and he knows it’s past time for him to start a life of his own. His time as a human is over and the sooner he realizes that, the better.

Another tug, this one more insistent and his heart constricts with a sort of sickly hope. No. It _can’t_ be. Could it? There’s been talk. There’s _always_ talk. Fairytales about humans falling in love with seals.

_If a human falls in love with a Selkie and cries seven tears into the ocean, that seal will feel each tear as a tear upon its heart._

_Jensen_ , he thinks, before he’s swimming as hard as he’s ever swam in his life. And there’s another tug. And another. Three more times and he feels like he can’t breathe. 

That’s seven.

He’s changing before his head breaks the surface and he doesn’t even feel the pain because all he can think is, “There’s Jensen. And he loves me. He has to, or I’d have never known to come.”

He’ll remember the look on Jensen’s face for the rest of his life.

Noticing they have a bit of an audience, he pulls his pelt around him, trying to cover his human body with the remnants of the life he’s leaving behind.

“Jared,” Jensen whispers, awe and disbelief making his voice rough.

Jared feels that thing low in his belly, the thing that’s stamped with Jensen’s name, doing cartwheels. And quite frankly, he feels like doing one of those himself. Instead he tries to talk, but chokes on his own tongue. This last change was a bit too fast and his body’s still reeling from it. “So. Surprise?”

Jensen laughs, head thrown back, and says, “No fucking joke!” before he launches himself at Jared and they fall into the water. Jensen’s mouth is everywhere and they’re both trying to kiss and talk at the same time. It’s sloppy and painful and the best thing that’s ever happened to Jared. In fact, he never wants it to stop, but they really have to get some things settled.

He pulls away, treading water, marveling at the way the drops linger on Jensen’s eyelashes. “We should talk. Alone. Shouldn’t we?”

Jensen nods, starts swimming to shore, but looks back when Jared doesn’t immediately follow. “Come on. I’ll get rid of the audience.”

He’s careful when he leaves the ocean, drawing his pelt around him like a shield. Jared’s met Jensen’s friends before, but he feels exposed knowing that they know his secret now.

Misha blinks several times, opening his eyes wide between each. “I’m definitely not high enough for this shit.”

Laughing, Danneel slaps Misha on the arm, says, “Shut up, Misha! It’s _romantic_!” and starts dragging him toward their car.

Finally he’s alone with Jensen and then it gets awkward. He doesn’t know what to say or do or even where to look. He feels emotionally naked, not to mention the fact that when he’s in human form his pelt doesn’t really cover everything. They’ve stared at each other for at least three minutes, mostly at each other’s mouths, when he finally says, “I have a place we can go. To talk. Where I can get clothes.” 

Jensen clicks his tongue, shakes his head from side to side and says, “Oh, don’t get dressed on my account. I’m liking the view.”

He feels the blush spread from the top of his head to the soles of his newly-formed feet and for lack of ability to think of a witty comeback for that, settles on holding his hand out for Jensen’s. Their fingers tangle together and they start the walk to his family’s cave, the dying sun warming their backs and their bright futures before them.

\----------

They don’t say a word on the way to Jared’s. Cave? Home? He has no idea what to call it, so he just settles on _Jared’s_. Jensen’s more than a little intimidated by this tall, imposing figure at his side. Seeing him come out of the ocean that way, after all these weeks imagining what it might be like had been more shocking than he’d thought. It’s a hell of a lot to take in, he thinks, glancing at Jared out of the corner of his eye. But he’s pretty sure it’s going to be worth it.

He follows Jared, the continued silence making him even more nervous. He’s not usually one who feels the need to fill up dead air space, but this seems like a special occasion and his emotions are wrecked and finally he blurts, “I love you.”

They’re at the mouth of the cave, and Jared stops before entering, pulling him close for another of those desperate kisses. It feels like falling and flying all at the same time and he clutches at Jared, his hands smoothing on the thick seal-skin covering his body. It’s warm and soft and somehow _alive_ beneath his hands and it’s even more thrilling because it’s a part of Jared. A secret part that he’s eager to know.

“I love you, too,” Jared whispers against his neck, his warm breath making all the hairs on Jensen’s body stand up in excitement. They fall against the wall, the sharp rocks digging into Jensen’s back and it’s enough of a shock to remind him of the reason they’re here. They really need to talk, get things out in the open, before taking the next step, but it’s going to take way more willpower than Jensen thinks he’s capable of. “So,” he coughs, breathes in through his nose and coughs again. “Wait. Talking. We were going to be talking, right?”

Jared laughs and it’s that honest, open laugh Jensen remembers so well, the one that lights up his entire body with an electric charge. “I don’t do this talking thing as often as you. Imagine the trouble I’m having!”

Unwilling to break contact, Jensen laces his arm through Jared’s, leans his head on Jared’s shoulder. “You were taking me some place. You mind telling me how we’re going to get there? I mean, I can barely see you, much less my feet. Do I need to get a flashlight out of the car?”

“Just hold onto me, I won’t let you fall.”

Jared leads them through dark tunnels and rooms that sound cavernous, the entire time gently nudging Jensen one way or keeping him from falling another. He’s just getting tired when Jared asks him to wait and he hears shuffling noises before the unmistakable sound of a match striking.

His eyes adjust quickly, but the scene before him is strange and incongruous. It’s a large cavern, he can barely see the opposite wall and there are stacks of boxes and jumbled up items everywhere.

Jared laughs nervously, holding his arm out like a girl on a game show. “Home sweet home.”

“It’s. Nice,” he says, but his voice betrays the emotions he’s feeling. It’s not nice. It’s horrible and lonely and he hates to think this is how Jared grew up, switching back and forth between two worlds and living like a homeless person in this cave. 

Jared misinterprets his mood and his silence though, and his face falls. “I know it’s not much. It’s just a place we store--”

“Wait. No. That’s not what I meant at all. It’s just. God, Jared, you deserve better than this. That’s all. I don’t want you to have to live like this. Can’t stand to think that you’ve had to.”

His words ease some of the tension on Jared’s face, so Jensen looks around for a place to sit. He’s worn out emotionally and exhausted physically from the weeks of waiting and wondering and he’s barely able to stand long enough to find a butt-worn red chair in the corner. “Go change. I’m just going to make myself comfy,” he says and he’s glad to see Jared visibly relax.

He closes his eyes, leaning his head against the back of the chair. He’s trying to be good, not watch as Jared changes clothes, but the sound of fabric hitting the cave floor is doing all kinds of things to his imagination and he’s half hard when Jared clears his throat and says, “Okay. Um. Yeah. Dressed.”

Jensen scoots over, pats the seat beside him and though there’s barely room for _him_ in the chair, somehow they make it work. There are too many limbs and several elbows to each other’s ribs, but they finally settle in and settle down.

“Tell me, Jared. I want to know everything.”

So Jared does. He starts with the history of the curse, how a witch had cursed the seals because a bull had killed her husband on a hunting trip. How all the seals in this part of the ocean could turn into humans. How his pelt gave him superhuman-like abilities -- better sight, excellent health, strength -- but if someone stole it they had power over him. The power to hurt him. And then he told Jensen about another time he’d trusted a human and how, in the end, he’d been used and broken and left to die. Until he’d met Jensen.

“I’d given up on practically everything that night we ran into each other on the beach. The things they did to me--”

Jensen clutches Jared’s hands, bones rubbing painfully against each other, like he can somehow force that pain and anguish out of Jared’s memories by sheer force of will. He can’t stand to think of someone hurting Jared like that. Sweet, guileless Jared who never has a harsh word to say to anyone and always goes out of his way to be kind. It sickens Jensen and he vows to find out more about these people who’ve hurt Jared. But, not now. Tonight is about them. About leaving the past behind and starting on their future. “Sorry. Go on.”

“That’s it, basically. Big, damaged freak. Fell head over heels in love with you the minute I talked to you--”

“And then I fucked everything up by being an ignorant ass.”

Jared shakes his head, his soft, unruly hair fanning out around his temples and Jensen wants to kiss him so bad he aches.

“No. You were just being human.”

Trying to keep his mind off dangerous subjects, like thinking about trailing his lips down Jared’s neck, he starts finding logical questions to ask. Like how things are going to work now that they’re together, because he’s for damn sure not going to let Jared get away this time. “Speaking of which. Now that you’re human, how can you stay? You don’t have ID, I’m assuming, no records of your birth, nothing.”

“There are other Selkies who’ve chosen to live on land. Not many, but it does happen. They’ll help. They can get me fake IDs, birth records, anything I need. I know it’s wrong and dishonest, but--”

Jensen cuts him off before he can worry too much. “I don’t care what we have to do. As long as we can stay together.”

Their eyes lock for a heartbeat and then it’s like a bomb goes off. Jensen grabs Jared’s head between both his hands, drags him in for a kiss, biting and sucking at his bottom lip and the sound Jared makes is this _obscene_ fucking animalistic growl that makes the blood run hot in Jensen’s veins.

He slides to the floor, kneeling in front of the chair, Jared’s legs on either side of him and _finally_ does the things he’s been wanting to do for months. Like run both hands up the smooth, firm muscles of Jared’s thighs. Lean in and push the fabric of Jared’s shirt up and kiss a long line down his abs, let his tongue lap at Jared’s navel, feel the muscles tense and bunch under his hands.

Jared’s hands are fisted in his hair, his cock a hard line under his jeans and Jensen just can’t wait any longer. He fumbles with the button on Jared’s pants, but can’t seem to get it undone. His hands are trembling, there’s not a part of him that isn’t, and his brain’s sleep-deprived and blown.

Seeing him struggle, Jared takes Jensen’s hands in his, lifts them to his lips and kisses each one. First licking across the knuckles of Jensen’s right hand, then sucking the palm of his left into his mouth and nibbling at the skin. That’s when the rest of Jensen’s sanity goes out the window and he starts saying things like, “Fuck. Please. Pants. Off.”

Jared laughs, flicks a finger at the button of his jeans and says, “Shouldn’t have even bothered putting them on,” and slides the zipper down in a slow, agonizing crawl. Each notch on that zipper sends a surge of blood straight to Jensen’s cock and he’s fumbling with his own pants when he realizes Jared isn’t wearing underwear. “Oh, holy fuck,” he practically moans, as he wraps a hand around his own dick and Jared leans back in the chair settling in, loose-limbed and wanting.

He leans in, lapping at the tip of Jared’s cock, the taste of pre-come thick and salty on his tongue, before slipping his mouth around the head, sucking to the rhythm of the thrusts he’s using on himself. Jared’s hands are everywhere, on Jensen’s neck, in his hair, gripping his biceps, nails digging sharp ridges into the smooth skin. He’s canting his hips, urging Jensen on, so Jensen opens his lips, lets them slide down and down and fuck Jared’s _big_ and full and hot and hard in his mouth. They slide into an easy rhythm, just this side of too fast -- hard jerks on his own cock and smooth, long pulls on Jared’s.

Each thrust in and Jared’s dick hits the back of his throat, each jerk out and he runs his palm over the slit of his own.

“Fuck, Jen. Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Jared’s head rolls from side to side, his eyes tight shut and it’s hotter for the fact that it’s the first time Jensen’s ever heard Jared cuss. “Pleasepleaseplease, fuck, nownownow,” each word torn from Jared’s throat on the upthrust.

Jensen’s balls tighten as he feels the first waves of Jared’s orgasm coating his tongue with come and that’s all it takes to send him over the edge. He shudders from head to foot and his spine feels like it’s melting out of his body. It takes everything left in him not to slide off Jared’s dick and into a big fucking wrecked-out puddle in the middle of the floor.

Then Jared says something in a guttural, bark-like language which he cuts off quick as a thought. “Oh, fuck, sorry. Forgot I was human there for a minute.”

For some reason they both think this is the funniest thing anyone’s ever said and Jensen’s head drops into Jared’s lap as they both try to catch their breaths from laughing.

They’re sticky and sweat-soaked, but neither seems to particularly care, so Jensen climbs up in Jared’s lap, snuggles in, wrapping his arms around Jared’s waist and he’s asleep before he even finishes getting comfortable.

\----------

Jared’s tired but not sleepy, would rather sit there and watch the way Jensen’s face softens when he slips under.

The whole night feels unreal to Jared and he expects any minute he’ll wake up on that small island out in the ocean the herd uses for sun, surrounded by the drowning deep, curled into himself and alone. Because he can’t help himself, he cups Jensen’s cheek, disturbing him enough for those gorgeous eyes to open, drooping and fluttery. “What’s wrong?” Jensen asks, and his voice is raspier than usual, the timbre deeper, fuller. And even though it’s been no time at all, Jared feels desire pooling low in his belly.

“Nothing. Go back to sleep.”

Jensen snuggles in closer, like he might be trying to climb inside Jared and puts his lips against the soft skin under Jared’s ear. “What happens, now, Jay?”

Jared smiles, kisses Jensen’s forehead and says, “Now we live happily ever after, right?”

And Jensen replies, “Mmmm. Sounds good to me.”


End file.
